Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
