You're my little dorito
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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