Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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