Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
