I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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