My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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