I think I died a long time ago.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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