I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Say something about gay babies.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
