Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
