The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
