haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
