some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
