i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
