I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
