I wish I could punch you in the face.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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