it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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