Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She told me I should be a condom model.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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