So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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