don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
