Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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