I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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