i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
