break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
