hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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