why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
