...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
