I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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