Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
