It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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