Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
