i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
