my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
