am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
