This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
