what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How's work?
Spinning.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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