i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
