Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
