Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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