she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
