"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I color on your dick again?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
