no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
