i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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