Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm both gender and math confused
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
