Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how do flat chested girls get laid?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
