"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
