Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
