Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
