I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
