I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
