Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
